i wish david would come back to cailfornia already so i can see him D:

Today was a strange off-day. It began with one of those odd starts, and even the slightest thing removed from your routine throws you off for the rest of the day. My odd start was being wide awake in an early morning conversation with L.D., but getting out of the shower at 1pm and neglecting to put lotion on my legs.

The remaining hours of my day always exhibited a hint of irritation, as though I had taken a nap that always casts the grumpy spell. But my family (minus Tatay) and I went out to Cheesecake Factory and followed with watching the movie The Blind Side at the Oakridge mall. I had the Barbeque Chicken salad — not as good as I remembered it in the past. The movie was good; I was more in the mood for.. oh, say Avatar and that desire showed through my random irritation, but the movie selection was in no way a loss on my part. It was everything everyone said it was, and quite the thought provoking story to carry out the new year.

In other good news, I’ve finally sorted through my RAW files and put up an album on fb for the Vegas trip. T.J. and I are not friends on fb for reasons of comfort, a decision on T.J.’s part with which I’m comfortable, but there was a stretch of satisfaction in his reaction as I was informing him of my uploading.

Upon slowly introducing the topic, he edged out of it and casually asked, “So is your boy back from Chicago yet?”

It is these little nuances that help walk me through his comfort level, and it relieves me that I can still talk about L.D. without special treatment.

I knew those stem cell protocols I was forced to write would come in handy in my personal life. Since T.J. works so much, and will inevitably have to go to school once the semester comes around, I have taken the time to construct a training manual for Malkin. It sounds like I am more involved with this dog than he is at this point, but he hardly has the time to sit down and study up on dog care at this time! Which makes me jest… I know who’s not having my kiddies.

If my calculation is correct, I think my friend flew to Dominica before New Years — that sucks. Though I guess, as the Firstie, you gotta go around and wear off that excited novelty and acquaint yourself with everything. Any other student would fly back much later and more distraught. It was a little nostalgic… hearing that he wished I was with him there on the island, and following his adventures by the journal entries, photos and videos he posted on his site. He showed a view of the outside of his apartment, and I knew exactly where he was by how the brush was naturally organized and that boat that always sat off to the side. I miss that sensation of having a sense of direction by the look of things. Out of any DUC student who got accepted to Ross, I feel like my dear friend struggled the most to get out of there, and it is to my great excitement (and half concern) to follow him on his now wild ride through the pirate country.

Yesterday, later in the evening, my Ate and I went to Subway. It was my first time eating it since I left the island. Everytime I hear someone with Subway, I have to secretly wretch; for shame that I should grow tired of something so popular around the states that it should be on every major street I care to drive on – including the one just outside my neighborhood. Well, we shared a foot long and ate it inside the all-too familiar restaurant. It was then that we discussed the island experience and my friend who just got there.

But later in the evening, we journeyed to Santana Row where we had our tall cups of Starbucks coffee and stationed ourselves on the second level of Borders. We were told the store closed at midnight, but the employees apparently lied and kicked us out by 10pm. In that time, I was doing the puppy training lessons given to T.J. at the animal shelter simply because I knew he wouldn’t get around to it. I appear to be very excited and happy to dominate T.J.’s dog. At home, Ate and I watched A Lot Like Love on our big flat screen with our laptops and cps of home-made green tea lattes.

I was happy to see that my sister put a blue heart made with food coloring on my foam. When I smeared the shape of it with my teabag, it looked like I had ♫ clouds in my coffee, clouds in my coffee..! ♫ Truly the most appreciated artistic rendition to accompany me as I finish my latte.

Happy New Year.

lol!

What has recently happened? Earlier in the week, after much bickering between the two of us on the significance of the matter, T.J. and I agreed for me to accompany him to Monterey to adopt a handsome pup named Paisely (sp?) who readily responded to his adopted name Malkin. [PMS] I felt it a shame that he should turn over the privilege of going with him to see the puppy to his other ex of whom I will have nothing, and an even greater shame that he said I can help name the puppy to substitute except that the dog automatically responded to Malkin. I should get some privileges of the new puppy since I’m second microchip person! [/PMS]

Much to everyone’s dismay, the puppy could not be brought home until later next week for reasons of surgery. That night, T.J., his tio and I ventured onto Cannery Row in search of a good seafood restaurant where we had Tilapia, Fish & Chips and Blackened Pacific Snapper respectively. I met various family relatives of his, including his much loved grandmother earlier in the day, and his tio was in good company on the little roadtrip. I think I got along with him fairly well. Afterward, I sought after a penny machine and bought another penny album! The end of that night resulted in a quick run to Petsmart and Target to get puppy supplies for the puppy surprise. LOL. So bad.

Following that was New Years Eve. Both T.J. and I awoke with supreme cravings for pho, and decided to meet at Pho Tau Bay on 10th & Keyes street after lazily crawling out of bed with the realization. It was awfully crowded at the restaurant, so I held down a table until T.J. arrived. To kill the time, I marveled at my smashed penny collection and proceeded to share with T.J. my new pennies I had found in Las Vegas and San Francisco. I am amused that an old Asian couple walked by our table only to abruptly stop to speak amongst themselves while pointing at my collection. Later in the evening, when the dull and restless silence of the early evening drowned our excitement for the new year, I found myself recollecting when and where I got each and every penny.

T.J. joined us for the new year at our house; it seemed only fair that my sister’s friend also be invited. For a time, we worked on a huge Disney puzzle my sister sprawled all over the counter top while watching the recording of the New York ball. I have to say that it was really nice for once to spend New Years was someone I cared for but wasn’t among the people I live with. Afterward, I had the pleasure of introducing T.J. to my favorite childhood food – Mami soup! He thoroughly enjoyed it and commented on the quail eggs. Everyone was off doing different activities. Watching movies, adding to the puzzles, playing the guitar… T.J. and I settled with a few bottles of Stella Artois and used my new tablet to draw at Isketch.net and kick everyone’s ass.

The night finally ended at 4am!

I haven’t given much time to journaling simply because I’ve been out and busying myself over other things. Lately though, much of my highlighted time has been spent with L.D. in one way or another. Vegas trip was amazing; I totally enjoyed myself over there with L.D. and his family and best friend. We arrived in the evening, and as I drowsily awoke in the backseat, I peered out the window to see Vegas in all its illuminated glory. And everything that ensued thereafter was exactly what I had hoped to enjoy upon setting eyes on all those shiny lights.

The first night, I re-learned how to play Blackjack by watching L.D. and J.J. gamble at the table on the older side of town. My mom wanted me to gamble away some $100 on the slots, but I grew more and more frustrated with the machines. I think I expected to lose the money, and by chance get a credit or two. The next night I played with L.D. and J.J. and earned more than what I put in (maybe next time I’ll play with bigger bucks?).  I was warmly greeted by the Filipino dealer and boss at Binions, who both mused at the realization that I am Filipino. Upon a useless chatter of Tagalog, I simply smiled and nodded, but laughed that they asked if L.D. was Filipino too.

Besides that, I really enjoyed the Zumanity showing at New York New York. It is always fun to admire the beautiful, sexy people. I recall briefly sharing the fact with my cousin at our Christmas party, and he replied silently with a big grin on his face. Looks like someone enjoyed it, too. Vegas is a beautiful city, and I hope to return!

A day or two later, I went to L.D.’s house and dropped off a basket of Filipino sweets hand picked by my mother and I – plus a cake >_>. I joined the family for dinner, and L.D. and I did our gift exchange. He got me a freaking tablet! I don’t know how I always manage never to express how much I want a tablet in past years, but L.D. got it surely without too many hints. @_@ Awesome present. And L.D. gracefully pulled off a surprised and delighted expression as he opened my present that he accidentally ordered for himself prior to. Afterward, a few hours of pretty good karaoke. The night ended with one of those first kiss moments. <3 I wish we lived closer to each other.

Then yesterday, L.D.’s mom gave me a star-shaped choker from Swarovski as a gift she forgot to give from Vegas, though perhaps it was because of my giftbasket? We ventured into San Francisco to check out a pretty neat shop on Valencia street, and it is there where I got mopped. D: I also got to try some Irish coffee at the Buena Vista cafe. After some failed attempts to catch the old-fashioned trolley, we fancied for an alleyway parking spot in  the middle of Chinatown. I bought chopsticks and a crane-shaped chopstick holder. We walked into the Buddha bar, where the bartender entertained us with his past. I had Sex on the Beach, and some of L.D.’s watermelon drink. I didn’t eat much, so the sprinkled alcohol here and there was enough to give me a pretty good buzz throughout the night. We wandered the downtown area throwing obnoxiously loud poppers into the air like children until we got to ride the Hyde trolley, at which point we proceeded to hang out of it for photo opportunities. T’was a great and fun-filled night!

*sigh*

And, indeed, lesser shades of grey.

So much has happened in the past few days. My neglect has prevented any extravagant moments worthy of writing to be shuffled in a myriad of other concrete details.

In this time alone however, I’ve managed to fall into yet another depression about my particular love life. I suppose this is my story at the point in my life. I wonder why I fall into these situations… why me of all people. I can only wonder when all of this will dissipate into lesser shades of grey.

I’ve got less than a day to recover from this runny nose before I take off on a big adventure, and today I am feeling better than before. Perhaps it is because I’ve mostly been stationary and indoors, and yesterday involved a lot of excursions!

L.D. came by the house in the afternoon for the first time yesterday. We chatted online earlier agreeing to hang out on my side of the bay. After settling with an arrival time of 3pm, I sped off in something of a flurry to sort of organize the house and make it presentable to a guest. I suppose my scrambling could also be attributed to the idea that I was going to see L.D. in person again after four long months. I’m not sure I was nervous about that, probably just overly excited.

I gave him a tour of the house, the lower floor of which awaited much introduction after talking about it online in the past. We rushed to the Mercado plaza where we watched Up in the Air, a good production, and ate some dinner at Sweet Tomatoes along Coleman. It felt relieving to have some healthy food and good soup after duking it out with a running nose! Afterward, we went to the Great Mall for some browsing though L.D. managed to get some holiday shopping done. We checked out the goggles at Sports Authority and promised myself to return in the event I sign up for a membership at the fancy YMCA by my high school.

The last stop was Quickly’s along McCarthy Ranch. We stopped by for some bubble tea and I got to try popcorn chicken sprinkled in paprika which is drastically different from the kind you’d expect at a KFC. Small cliques of Asians could be seen hanging out at their own tables chatting amongst themselves or playing card games. The night was still relatively young, but L.D. was still jet-lagged and I was sick. I recall describing my condition earlier in the day as my head feeling like a bowling ball.

I think we proposed a lot of ideas to do today in the short amount of time we had after watching a long movie. Shopping at Microcenter and Macy’s had to be kicked out of our to-do list, but I think we both had a rewarding and fun-filled day. Back to recouping!

This fall, four consecutive typhoons hit the Philippines, and the benefit concert of classical music was absolutely required to stir the hearts of others to give. The benefit concert was held on the 17th, arranged by my sister who rallied up four other classical pianists with the same motives. I would often awake to beautiful music being played on our piano downstairs. The five of them met often to practice on our piano, and not once did I feel the energy falter in goodwill with any musician. They played it all to the end when they performed on the Steinway in downtown.

I’m proud of my sister for having gone back to her musical roots, and being the performer that she is. I’m mostly proud that she came back to do it for the Philippines.

Today I spent some time appreciating the company Jack offers me in the quietude that this house often provides. Still, the day was quite involved with myself and others that altogether helped me feel better about myself.

Earlier in the day, I prepared to meet up with T.J. to hang out for the morning hours before his work and do our gift exchange. There is something in vain in the idea of having exerted the effort (because I need to put effort in this case…) in wrapping a thoughtful present, and having my hard work ripped to pieces the following morning. The sheer enjoyment of the other person is the only thing that completely negates that ill feeling.

I had left my present for T.J. in the car, and only brought it into the house when the time came to unwrapping happy treasure. I had to leave the gift in the car because upon entering his bedroom, he knew exactly what I got him as I clumsily pushed his cracked open door with a huge present in my arms in the shape of a body pillow. I supposed there was an added element of surprise as I individually wrapped the pillow case.

For the tapering weeks of November and all throughout December, T.J. had been torturing me with ideas about my gift. I had a better head on my shoulders and decided not to think much of it; though, if I were to assume that he shopped with no imagination, I would think he fruitlessly bought me a Nintendo DSi for Christmas. He incessantly played with that idea so much that I fabricated that he really did buy it for me in order for me not to assume otherwise what I had gotten. I still held onto this idea til the very end, and actually became convinced until he pointed to my gift sitting in the corner of the room – not at all in the shape of a Nintendo DSi, or the diamonds I made up in fun because he said it started with a “D”.

He got me a dolica professional tripod for my camera!!!!!!!!!!! Which I might consider using for my trip to Las Vegas.

T.J. bought me two gifts this Christmas, the tripod I unwrapped today and one which sits in my room invisible to the eye to avoid temptation. He had snuck it into my backpack one night, and told me that I am not to open it until Christmas Day. Well, one down and one more to go I guess.

Today, I also had a discussion with him regarding his drinking a previous night with friends. We have an agreement that if he exceeds his drinking limit, he has to buy me something with the price of his alcohol. His $9.75 amounted to a paid lunch at our regular sushi restaurant before he sped off to work.

When I came home with my brand new tripod and T.J.’s roll of wrapping paper, I encountered my sister who was just about getting ready to set out on a Starbucks errand. We came to return a folder of self-composed music from one of the pianists who performed last night at the benefit concert (must journal about that afterward!). By chance, we stumbled upon one of the other pianists who dropped by to say hello. We had friendly chatter and good smiles all around. We talked about how the men bowed for a shorter time after their pieces than my sister, my overall impressions of their piano skills, and when they will see whether I took good photos at the concert or not.

My sister bought me a Peppermint Mocha frappuccino after marking out a thing of coffee blend. And it’s here that I have to announce a new phrase to my general and random happiness: The Happy Frappy. Whenever I ask for a frappuccino, I must order with a smiley face on top made by chocolate syrup (and sometimes an espresso bean for a nose).

I’ve discovered today why I enjoy doing this. Initially, it was to test their “Yes Policy” to customers. Nowadays, I enjoy manifesting happy, positive energy unto others involved in this happy face making. In saying to the person at the register my special request, I have generated an uplifting amusement. Said person at the register must now communicate to the barista the special request, which transfers the amusement on. And never has anyone ever made my smiley face in anger or depression. S/he is always happy, and it is transferred to me in the impression that they have squiggled on my frappuccino. I look up in happiness to the barista, who has looked to me for approval and I give them the satisfaction by returning the smiley they gave me. Additionally, I have made an imprint in their memory of something simple yet positive to their heart. This is the Happy Frappy that my sister and I have invented. People say I am random and weird, but overall, I’m just a genius.

How exciting it is! Since the beginning of the day, people have been preparing this and that for tonight’s benefit concert! I’ve been out on errands for most of the day.

It is so inspiring to see skilled musicians prepare for a big concert! But besides the performers… I myself am clouded up in preparations for the reception Catering food, delivering items, shopping for last minute ingredients/supplies, cooking… and now it is time for me to get ready.