Angel Reading Day

I find it repulsive to have the slightest inkling of interest to read back in my recent entries as the past couple of posts have been full of content sadness and the further past are when time flew as I was having fun. It seems now that the thrill of crossing off tasks on a to-do list is key to any self-satisfaction nowadays until I can see the light at the end of the tunnel with my major issues.

I made my way through the new walls of the Med Tele wing for the first time in what seemed like several months. When I arrived at this hall in the hospital, DK approached me with a patient who was being discharged.

“Joyce!” He called out my name as though I was a familiar pal in the distance. I greeted him with a big wave and smile; I offered to discharge the patient myself, and gripped the rubber handles of the wheelchair to take on the task. This started my 5-hour shift in the hospital, where I checked the glove compartments, sharps containers and nursing supplies in each patient room throughout the wing. When I was finally done with my responsibilities, I lingered in the the nursing station staring at the EKG monitors hungry for definition.

“What does multiform PVC mean?” I’d ask in the open silence, pointing to an EKG on the screen that blinked.

“That’s nothing, often times these triggers are false because we analyze the other leads and they show up normal on those,” the monitor tech would explain.

I scrunched my eyebrows, “But what does PVC stand for?”

“Pre-ventricular contraction,” he’d respond, “do you know your conduction pathway?”

I’d answer his questions, and he’d draw out the logic behind an EKG gone bad. Shortly, their shift would end and the new staff would move in. But I’d still stand there studying the EKGs, and still someone would explain clinical applications to me. This was how the remainder of my hours was spent in the hospital until I thanked everyone and said goodbye.

I told them that I had just been rejected to my top school but that I am still awaiting responses from other places. I particularly enjoyed #D’s facial expression:  scrunched eyebrows accompanied with a crooked line for a mouth and an incredulous shrug. He told me that I should have a more fierce attitude about my rejection, and that it’s that school’s problem that they didn’t take me. I smiled for the first time regarding the subject.

As I came home, I webcammed with LD and told him about my day. I also contacted DL who wanted to hang out today for a reiki session. I told her, “My reiki for your reading!”

DL is a very intuitive individual, but I’ve felt on various occasions that her readings are often mixed with her personal interpretation – something which will improve over time. She shuffled her angel cards as I vented about my anxiety. I was half confiding in her looking for the friendship necessary to comfort me, but I was also communicating with the angels demanding their response. Sadly, they could only give me the same information they’ve given to me when I directly asked them. The way the cards would stumble out of the deck on their own as DL shuffled them was undeniably their doing.

In the end, DL fanned out the angel cards in her hands. The edges of these beautiful cards were coated with a glistening, gold that I appreciated in the limited lighting in the room. I pulled out a card. It showed an illustration of Archangel Raphael, my guardian angel. In no way am I greatly surprised at the angel readings. Concluding my reading, a tear wells up in the corner of my eye silently and I am flooded with a feeling of comfort.

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